Dealing with Feelings of Depression

Feeling sadness is a normal byproduct of our complicated lives. When you feel very sad we call it “depression” and feeling mild depression now and then is also normal.

Life for a teen is complex. It’s loaded with events, situations, relationships and surprises, which cause depression at times. You can’t be fully prepared for all that happens. You can’t avoid some depression as you grow up. Between friends and parents, teachers and other authorities there are just too many frustrating things, which create confusion and problems. 

Mild temporary depression (“the blues”) lasts less than three days, and sometimes the best way to deal with it is to just let time heal the hurt. 

When you get too sad, you should TALK. Talk to friends, talk to parents, and talk to a teacher or to a counselor. Sometimes when you look closely at a problem it becomes much simpler, less distressing and more understandable. 

Sometimes expressing anger is a way to deal with depression. Psychiatrists have said that depression is often anger turned inward. Often the depression occurs because of some complex situation where you feel that you, or someone you care about, is being treated unfairly. If you look closely at it, you might see that instead of feeling depressed, you could feel angry. Anger is often the opposite of depression. For instance, you could be feeling down and depressed about breaking up with a boy or girlfriend - but a close, calm look might result in anger rather than depression. Try stating the situation in terms of the injustice you may be feeling (“after all I did for him, I deserved something better”) and as you do this exercise you may feel the depression lifts and irritation replaces it. Then deal with the anger by being assertive about your needs and looking for ways to correct the injustice. But be careful! Don’t get too angry because that becomes another problem. 

There is a lot you can do to manage feelings of depression, but sometimes the depression has existed too long and has run too deeply. In that case, don’t hesitate to check with your parents and get to a therapist or psychologist. These people have special skills and can help a lot to point the way to feeling much better about your life. 

For more information on this topic, take a look at these articles.
~ Controlling Your Anger 
~ Stop Anger from Taking Over

Stop Anger from Taking Over

Anger is the emotion that seems to get people into the most trouble with teachers, parents, family, friends and police. 

Too much anger fuels huge problems. Ever see someone having "road rage?" It's scary to watch or experience and it's very dangerous. Someone who gets that angry is out of control, is showing terrible judgment and is placing his own and other's lives in great jeopardy. 

Anger occurs when frustration is high. In moderation it is fine. It warns us that something is wrong and needs to be addressed. It often arises from a sense of injustice, a feeling that something is very unfair. It is a great motivator: sometimes for the good, as when a person uses anger to take constructive action and does not lose control; and sometimes it's bad, as when a driver loses control and acts with reckless hostility. 

We all live in a frustrating world. We all need to learn how to control or direct the frustration, which can quickly turn into anger. Temper tantrums are only for very young children. When you feel yourself becoming too angry, or on the brink of acting on your anger, you might: 

• Try the old "count to ten" technique: it often works by delaying action.
• Think about the fear or frustration that caused the other person to act in a way that upset you.
• Try to feel empathy for the person rather than anger. Sometimes compassion calms hostility.
• If you or someone (or something) you care about is being treated unfairly, try to offer a solution that makes the situation more fair.
• Sometimes simply walking away is a great alternative to acting out your anger. That takes a lot of poise and maturity---and it shows a lot of poise and maturity, too.

Anger doesn’t have to be a bad emotion. When kept in check, anger can inspire great writing, great athletic performance or great social progress. But restraint and good sense are the keys to having anger be constructive rather than destructive. It can be either.

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Controlling Your Anger

Very often, being angry is a natural reaction to a situation. However, handling that anger in a socially appropriate manner is something to be learned and practiced. If you grew up in a family that responds to anger by shouting and yelling, you will probably get angry easily and respond naturally in this way. If you grew up in a family that responds to anger by always talking things through, being polite, and never blowing up, you may still become angry at times, but will learn to handle it by hiding it. There are benefits and drawbacks to both styles. 

Expressing your anger can help you to feel relief and avoid further stress, but it may hurt others and put that stress onto them. Worse, it may not help to change the situation which made you angry in the first place. Holding your feelings in and not expressing anger can cause you to feel the effects of stress in other physical and emotional ways if you don't somehow get relief. When you feel yourself getting angry, a first step is to consider the source of the anger. Are your feelings justified, or are they selfish? Will expressing your anger help or hurt the situation? Can you solve the problem in a way that doesn't hurt others physically or emotionally? When you feel yourself getting angry take the following steps.

1. Take a deep breath, hold it a minute, then slowly let it out.
2. Take a moment where you don't say anything, but just think about the situation.
3. Ask yourself why you are upset: Are you not getting your way? Does someone not understand you? Has someone else done something to you?
4. Before you react, consider what you will gain by your reaction. Your number one goal should be to get the best results from the situation.
5. Now respond. This might mean walking away rather than making things worse. It might mean talking things over. It might mean expressing your anger in a firm but calm way. It might mean explaining to someone else how they upset you. It might mean letting your anger go because you realize it is unproductive.

If you follow these steps and practice them whenever you can, you will find that, while you might still get angry, you may also get better results and feel less stress.

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