Relationships and Christian Teens: What You Need to Know

Christian teens form all kinds of relationships. From friendships to dating, these are the years that Christian teens start building ties outside of the family. While these relationships are an exciting time for Christian teens, they also come with their own issues and hazards. Suddenly the issues of sex and boundaries starts to arise, and teens find themselves having to choose sides on "hot button" topics like homosexuality and abortion. There is a lot of growing to do in all aspects of relationships, and having Biblical and Christian guidance is essential.

Friendship is the foundation of any good relationship. Whether you are looking to make friends or keep the ones you have, friendship is important in any Christian teen's life. This is also why Christian teens need to work at keeping their friendships strong. Think of the traits that are important in any relationship like honesty and trust, and they apply to your friends. Avoiding pitfalls like gossip and lying go a long way in building friendships that last a lifetime.

• 10 Ways that Christian Teens Can Make Friends
• What the Bible Says About...Gossip
• What the Bible Says About...Honesty

 

Dating

Dating is the part of many Christian teens' lives. Whether you are choosing not to date or looking to set boundaries in your dating relationships, there is a lot to consider when you take a relationship to the next step beyond friendship. Knowing what you want from a dating relationship and finding ways to resist temptation will allow you to build a productive and Christian dating relationship.

Sex

The Bible covers sex quite a bit, and for good reason. Sex is a beautiful thing meant to be experienced by a married couple. Yet a lot of teens are already having sex, not realizing the emotional and physical consequences. Other Christian teens are not having sexual intercourse, but doing everything but "going all the way." This brings up the question, "How far is too far?" Knowing what the Bible says about sex and understanding the lies teens tell themselves about sex can help you remain abstinent and focus on purity.

• What the Bible Says About...Sex 
• 10 lies Christian Teens Tell Themselves About 

"Hot Button" Items

There is a lot of controversy when it comes to Christian teens and relationships. For some Christian teens hot button items like homosexuality, masturbation, and abortion are clear cut sins. Other Christian teens see "shades of gray" in the Bible scriptures. However, understanding the arguments on both sides will help you remain strong in your own faith.

10 Lies Christian Teens Tell Themselves About Sex, Dating,and How Far Is Too Far

So, how far is too far? Is that a valid question to ask? In a world where sex is seen in every medium and condoms are being handed out in schools, what is a Christian teen to do when confronted with conflicting advice about what constitutes a sexual activity or abstinence? Here are the top 10 lies Christian teens tell themselves when it comes to answering the question, "How far is too far?"

1. Everybody Does It

Everybody? No. Not everybody is having sex. While the media and people in school may make it seem like everyone is having sex, there are just as many Christian teens (and non-Christians, too) waiting until marriage. Doing something just because everyone else is doing it is just giving into peer pressure. It takes a stronger person, or a person backed up by the strength of God, to resist temptation. When you stand up to peer pressure you are actually saving yourself from committing sin while being a good Christian witness to other teens around you.

2. It's No Big Deal

Sex is a big deal. Ask any Christian teen who struggles with having had sex before. There are a lot of emotions and spiritual struggles that come from having had sex outside of marriage. It is one of the reasons God placed such an emphasis on sex and relationships in the Bible. Sex is a beautiful act that comes out of the marriage covenant, and it means more than just an action.

3. Virginity is a State of Mind

Some people use the term "technical virgin" when describing their sexual status. Usually this means that the person has not had a sexual act that involved penetration. Virginity is more than that. Virginity is not a state of mind, but it is the conscious choice to not involve oneself in sexual acts until after marriage. Usually this excuse is used if someone wants to justify participating in sexual activity.

4. Sex and Love are the Same Thing

Sex and love are very different, but they are meant to complement one another. If you are in love it does not mean you should have sex. Sex is an act. Love is an emotion. They are very different, and it can be dangerous to mix them up. You should never feel like you have to have sex with someone just because you want to show them you love them. There are plenty of non-sexual ways to show your love to someone.

5. Sex is a Minor Sin

Pre-marital sex is sin. Sin is sin. However, it is dangerous to think that sex is a minor or equal sin to all others, because it can put you in a frame of mind to make bad choices. Sexual sin is still a defiance of God, and no sin is acceptable to God. Yes, you can be forgiven, but you will have to live with the sin you have committed, which can be difficult if you are not prepared to deal with sex emotionally.

6. Oral Sex Isn't Really Sex

Oral sex is a sexual act. Just because Christian teens are not having sex in the textbook fashion, it is still a sexual act that bonds a man and a woman together.

7. Third Base Isn't a Big Deal

Third base, also known as "heavy petting," is a big deal, because it can lead to other things. Not only is it a form of sexual action, but it can lead to sexual intercourse. It is very easy for Christian teens to get caught up in the moment and forget about any desire to stay abstinent. Sin is very tempting, and it does not always come with warning or stop signs. Going to Third Base can be a danger zone.

8. My Will Can Overcome Any Temptation

God's will can overcome any temptation. If you feel you have the strength alone to conquer any temptation, you are setting yourself up for trouble. Man is known for falling into sin, especially when there is an overconfidence in the self. Christian teens need to keep their eyes on God, and allow God to help set boundaries so they can resist the temptation. The Bible is full of helpful advice when it comes to coping with temptation, and it can be a useful tool.

9. Watching Porn or Masturbating is Less of a Sin Than Having Sex

A lot of people believe that pornography and masturbation are helpful in preventing a person from having sex. However, having sex is not just about the act, but it is about the frame of mind. If you have lust in your heart while you are watching pornographic movies or masturbating, then there is sin there.

10. I've Already Had Sex, So It's Too Late for Me

It is never too late. While the idea of "born-again virgin" may seem a little like "technical virgin," it is not the same thing. Many Christian teens that have already had sex choose to act as if they have never had sex and vow to wait until marriage. Having sex is not the end of the world. God is very forgiving, and He smiles at those who return to Him with a desire to do His will. While the temptation for someone who has had sex can be even stronger than the virgin, it can be overcome with God's help. God is waiting to welcome you with open arms.

What the Bible Says About... Sex

Question: What the Bible Says About... Sex

Let’s talk about sex…yes, the “S” word. The Bible actually has a lot to say about the subject. You may think, with all the warnings about not having sex before marriage, that sex is bad, the Bible says something quite contrary to that. Sex is biblical, if looked at from a Godly perspective. So what does the Bible have to say about sex?

Answer:

Sex is a Good Thing

What? Sex is a good thing? Well, God created sex. He created man and woman to create babies. The Bible says that sex is a way for a husband and wife to express their love for one another. Yes, “husband and wife.” God did create sex to be a beautiful and enjoyable expression of love, but only between a man and wife. 

Genesis 1: 27-28 – “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number;” (NIV)

Genesis 2:24 – “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (NIV)

Proverbs 5:18-19 – “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer — may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.” (NIV)

Song of Songs 7:6 – “How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights!” (NIV)

1 Corinthians 6:13 – “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” (NIV)

So, Sex is Good, but Premarital Sex is Not?

Right. There is a lot of talk going on around you about sex. Sex is in just about every magazine, newspaper, television show, and movie. It is the point of a lot of music. Our world has gotten lax about sex, making it seem like premarital sex is okay because it feels good, but the Bible does not agree. God calls us all to control our passions and wait for marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:2-3 – “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” (NIV)

Hebrews 13:4 – “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” (NIV)

1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 – “It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable” (NIV)

What if I’ve Already Had Sex?

Everyone falls to sin in some area or another. If your area happens to be sex, there is still hope. While you cannot become a virgin again, you can obtain God’s forgiveness. You just have to ask for it and try not to sin that way again. What truly angers God is willful sin, when you know you are sinning and keep on participating in that sin. While giving up sex may be difficult, God calls us to remain sexually pure until marriage.

Acts 13:38-39 – “Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through him everyone who believes is justified from everything you could not be justified from by the law of Moses.” (NIV)

Romans 1:24 – “Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.” (NIV)

But It’s So Tempting!

As a Christian you fight off temptation every day. Being tempted is not the sin, but giving into the temptation is. So how do you fight off the temptation? The desire to have sex can be very strong, especially if you have already had sex. It is only by relying on God for strength that you can truly fight off the temptation to have sex.

1 Corinthians 10:13 – “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” (NIV)

What the Bible Says About... Honesty and Truth

Question: What the Bible Says About... Honesty and Truth

What is honesty and why is it so important? What's wrong with a little white lie? The Bible actually has a lot to say about honesty, as God has called Christian teens to be honest people. Even little white lies to protect someone's feelings can compromise your faith. Remember that speaking and living the truth help those around us come to the Truth.

Answer:

God, Honesty, and Truth

Christ said that He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. If Christ is Truth, then it follows that lying is moving away from Christ. Being honest is about following in God's footsteps, for He cannot lie. If the Christian teen's goal is to become more God-like and God-centered, then honesty needs to be a focus.

Hebrews 6:18 - "So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie." (NLT)

Reveals Our Character

Honesty is a direct reflection of your inner character. Your actions are a reflection on your faith, and reflecting the truth in your actions is a part of being a good witness. Learning how to be more honest will also help you keep a clear conscious.

Character plays a big role in where you go in your life. Honesty is considered a characteristic employers and college interviewers look for in candidates. When you are faithful and honest, it shows.

Luke 16:10 - "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much." (NIV)

1 Timothy 1:19 - "Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear. For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked." (NLT)

Proverbs 12:5 - "The plans of the righteous are just, but the advice of the wicked is deceitful." (NIV)

God's Desire

While your honesty level is a reflection of your character, it is also a way to show your faith. In the Bible, God made honesty one of his commandments. Since God cannot lie, He sets the example for all of His people. It is God's desire that we follow that example in all that we do.

Exodus 20:16 - "You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor." (NIV)
Proverbs 16:11 - "The Lord demands accurate scales and balances; he sets the standards for fairness." (NLT)

Psalm 119:160 - "The very essence of your words is truth; all your just regulations will stand forever." (NLT)

Keeping Your Faith Strong

Being honest is not always easy. As Christians we know how easy it is to fall into sin. Therefore, you need to work at being truthful, and it is work. The world does not give us easy situations, and sometimes we need to really work to keep our eyes on God in order to find the answers. Being honest can sometimes hurt, but knowing that you are following what God wants for you will make you more faithful in the end.

Honesty is also not just how you speak to others, but also how you speak to yourself. While humility and modesty is a good thing, being too harsh on yourself is not being truthful. Also, thinking too highly of yourself is a sin. Thus, it is important for you to find a balance of knowing your blessings and shortcomings so you can continue to grow.

Proverbs 11:3 - "Honesty guides good people; dishonesty destroys treacherous people." (NLT)

Romans 12:3 - "Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us." (NLT)

What the Bible Says About... Gossip

Question: What the Bible Says About... Gossip

Are you a gossip? Did you take the Gossip Quiz to find yourself surprised at the answer? We live in a social society where we share in each other’s lives. We are also curious people, always desiring to be “in the know.”
Yet, gossip is not helpful. Gossip actually serves to break the trust of those the people around you. The Bible has a lot of important statements regarding gossip.

Answer:

What’s Wrong with Gossip?

Everyone likes a good story, right? Well, not necessarily. What about the person the story is about? Does that person like the story? Probably not. Spreading rumors only hurts others and destroys our credibility. Who is going to trust us with anything when they think we’ll tell everyone else?

Gossip is also a way we judge others, which really isn’t our job. God is in charge of judging people, not us. Gossip really only ends up creating greed, hate, envy, murder.
Gossip is also a sign that we are not really active in our faith and in our lives. If you think about it, the busier we are, the less time we have to gossip. We no longer have the time to get wrapped up in someone else’s life. Gossip is bred out of boredom. It may start as a simple conversation about people, and then escalates quickly. The Bible clearly tells us to do more than discuss other people’s lives.

Leviticus 19:16 – “Do not go about spreading slander among your people. Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life. I am the Lord.” (NIV)

Proverbs 11:13 – “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.” (NIV)

Romans 1:29 – “They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips.” (NIV)

1 Timothy 5:13 – “Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.” (NIV)

Matthew 7:1 – “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” (NIV)

Proverbs 18:8 – “The words of gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.” (NIV)

So What Do I Do About Gossip?

First, if you catch yourself falling into gossip – stop. If you don’t passon the gossip there is nowhere for it to go. This includes gossip magazines and television. While it may not seem as “sinful” to read those magazines, you are contributing to gossip.

Also, when you are faced with a statement that may or may not be gossip, check out the facts. For instance, if you hear someone has an eating disorder, go to the person. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to the person yourself, and the rumor is something serious, you may want to go to a parent, pastor, or youth leader. Getting someone to help in a serious situation is not gossip as long as the information stays with you and the person you go to for help.

If you want to avoid gossip, focus on creating helpful and encouraging statements. Let the gossip and end with you and remember the Golden Rule – if you don’t want people to gossip about you, then don’t participate in gossip.

Proverbs 26:20 – “Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.” (NIV)
Deuteronomy 13:14 – “Then you must inquire, probe and investigate it thoroughly.” (NIV)
Matthew 7:12 – “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” (NIV)

Ephesians 4:29 – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (NIV)

Top 10 Ways Christian Teens Can Make Friends

Are you new to the neighborhood or just moved to a new school? Have your old friends moved away and you wonder how to make new friends? Just because you are a Christian teen doesn't mean making friends is any easier. Making a friend means taking a risk and putting yourself out there to be social and friendly. Here are some ways that Christian teens can make themselves available to find people to hang out with:

1. Know Who You Want to Be Friends With

Before you start trying to make friends, think about who you actually want to be your friends. What types of people do you want to associate with? While most Christian teens like to hang out with other Christian teens, it does not mean all your friends have to be Christian. Just remember that you want your friends to share some of your values and morals. You also want your friends to be uplifting and not drag you down into bad habits or behaviors.

 

2. Get Involved in Activities

The easiest way to make friends is to get involved in activities at school or in your youth group. It allows you to meet people that share your interests. Find some clubs or a local youth group that is active. As you continue to attend the activities you will find yourself drawn to certain people as friends.

3. Introduce Yourself

A lot of Christian teens don't know how to make the first step in making friends. Sitting in a corner at an event or not saying a word in a club meeting doesn't draw people to you. This is a hard step to take, and a quick prayer beforehand can help. God is a great provider of courage. It is hard to walk up to a person to introduce yourself. If you are really nervous, make the introduction quick and don't expect to much. As people begin to know you are around they will start to include you in conversations.

4. Get Some Help

Youth pastors and leaders area great help in making friends. Many youth pastors are willing to meet with you before you join a youth group and can help introduce you to other Christian teens that share your interests. They may also be able to point you toward student ministries that fit your gifts so you can meet people. This may prevent you from having to take that first introductory step yourself, so it takes some of the pressure off.

5. Work on Your Conversation Skills

How well do you communicate with people? Try practicing conversation skills before you go to youth group or club meetings. Think of some fun topics to discuss and the different ways you can contribute to a conversation. You may feel silly having a conversation with yourself, but you will grow in your communication skills if you do.

6. Be a Good Listener

Listening is a great tool in making new friends. Listening means hearing what a person is saying, while offering support and feedback. Nodding and repeating back what the person just told you makes a person feel like you are being supportive. For example, if a potential friend tells you that he is nervous about playing in the upcoming football game because he just recovered from a sprained ankle, you might say, "It sounds like your ankle sprain was pretty bad. What has the coach been doing to get you ready?" You acknowledge everything he told you and also asked a question that keeps the conversation going.

7. Use Open Ended Questions

Questions are an important part of getting to know people, but you need to ask the right type of questions to keep the conversation going. Using open ended questions are a great tool for finding friends. Open ended questions make people answer with more than a "yes" or "no." Use questions that begin with "who," "what," "when," "where," "why," and "how."

8. Use Good Body Language

Body language can be a pretty unconscious thing, but it is a big deal in making friends. How you stand or sit tells people how open you are to being approached. Avoid "closed" body language like crossed arms or legs. When you are standing around face out toward the group and smile. Also, standing too close to someone can make the other person feel uncomfortable, so keep a two to three foot distance as you speak. Avoid fidgeting and playing with your hair. Maintain eye contact. Your body language tells the other person how you feel about your conversation, so practice showing the right messages with your body.

 

9. Be Positive

A positive attitude goes a long way in making friends. Most people don't like a sourpuss. There are things that can be rather depressing and other things that make you angry, but try to avoid starting a conversation about those things. If they do come up, voice your anger or sadness in an appropriate manner. Try to be supportive of others without being to saccharine sweet - people can see through the false sweetness easily.

10. Throw a Party

If you have a group of people you are just getting to know and want to get to know them better, why not throw a party? A get-together can be a great way for Christian teens to mingle, have great conversation, and make friends. Parties are also a great way to kick off a new semester so that people can get to know the new students in the mix.

 

 

First Dates with First Date Ideas and Tips

Plenty of topics for discussion without having to deal with issues like: "What happened to your last relationship?"
And you can avoid the usual casual chit-chat like:

"I met my first boyfriend on the prison bus."

Yada. Yada. Yada.

Clothing

Clothing is not optional. Wear clothes that make you feel good. New clothes always help - but if not new, be sure they're clean, pressed, and fit well - or if that's not your style - be sure they fit whatever way makes you feel the most comfortable and still look presentable. 

Help the Other Person Feel Comfortable Find something nice about your date and compliment her or him. But mean it. Don't just say, "Nice shoes, Gladys." "Swell belt, Ralph." Let's review. Find something nice. If it's painfully difficult to come up with something that you sincerely like about the person, you shouldn't be out with them in the first place. 

Manners and/or Kindness   
Thank the other person for the date - always, without exception.
Good manners are still in style. Well, not necessarily good manners - but common sense. Human kindness. That sort of thing is always in style.
Focus on the Other Person - pay attention to your date.
No wandering eyes. No preoccupation with old relationships, work, bank robberies.

Be THERE. Listen actively to what your date says.
Don't interrupt. While your date is talking, don't spend time thinking about what you're going to say when it's your turn.

Attitudes and Habits - stay positive. 

Don't complain on a first date.
Be cautious about alcohol - if you drink heavily, you're not going to be at your best.
If your date gets swacked on your first date, it's not necessarily due to nervousness.
He or she is likely to be a heavy-drinker, at best, and could end up drooling on your new, pressed clothes as you shovel him or her into a cab.

Date ideas for the week: 
Take a class together.
Wine-tasting?
Photography?
Or cut to the chase with a massage class.

Dealing with Feelings of Depression

Feeling sadness is a normal byproduct of our complicated lives. When you feel very sad we call it “depression” and feeling mild depression now and then is also normal.

Life for a teen is complex. It’s loaded with events, situations, relationships and surprises, which cause depression at times. You can’t be fully prepared for all that happens. You can’t avoid some depression as you grow up. Between friends and parents, teachers and other authorities there are just too many frustrating things, which create confusion and problems. 

Mild temporary depression (“the blues”) lasts less than three days, and sometimes the best way to deal with it is to just let time heal the hurt. 

When you get too sad, you should TALK. Talk to friends, talk to parents, and talk to a teacher or to a counselor. Sometimes when you look closely at a problem it becomes much simpler, less distressing and more understandable. 

Sometimes expressing anger is a way to deal with depression. Psychiatrists have said that depression is often anger turned inward. Often the depression occurs because of some complex situation where you feel that you, or someone you care about, is being treated unfairly. If you look closely at it, you might see that instead of feeling depressed, you could feel angry. Anger is often the opposite of depression. For instance, you could be feeling down and depressed about breaking up with a boy or girlfriend - but a close, calm look might result in anger rather than depression. Try stating the situation in terms of the injustice you may be feeling (“after all I did for him, I deserved something better”) and as you do this exercise you may feel the depression lifts and irritation replaces it. Then deal with the anger by being assertive about your needs and looking for ways to correct the injustice. But be careful! Don’t get too angry because that becomes another problem. 

There is a lot you can do to manage feelings of depression, but sometimes the depression has existed too long and has run too deeply. In that case, don’t hesitate to check with your parents and get to a therapist or psychologist. These people have special skills and can help a lot to point the way to feeling much better about your life. 

For more information on this topic, take a look at these articles.
~ Controlling Your Anger 
~ Stop Anger from Taking Over

Stop Anger from Taking Over

Anger is the emotion that seems to get people into the most trouble with teachers, parents, family, friends and police. 

Too much anger fuels huge problems. Ever see someone having "road rage?" It's scary to watch or experience and it's very dangerous. Someone who gets that angry is out of control, is showing terrible judgment and is placing his own and other's lives in great jeopardy. 

Anger occurs when frustration is high. In moderation it is fine. It warns us that something is wrong and needs to be addressed. It often arises from a sense of injustice, a feeling that something is very unfair. It is a great motivator: sometimes for the good, as when a person uses anger to take constructive action and does not lose control; and sometimes it's bad, as when a driver loses control and acts with reckless hostility. 

We all live in a frustrating world. We all need to learn how to control or direct the frustration, which can quickly turn into anger. Temper tantrums are only for very young children. When you feel yourself becoming too angry, or on the brink of acting on your anger, you might: 

• Try the old "count to ten" technique: it often works by delaying action.
• Think about the fear or frustration that caused the other person to act in a way that upset you.
• Try to feel empathy for the person rather than anger. Sometimes compassion calms hostility.
• If you or someone (or something) you care about is being treated unfairly, try to offer a solution that makes the situation more fair.
• Sometimes simply walking away is a great alternative to acting out your anger. That takes a lot of poise and maturity---and it shows a lot of poise and maturity, too.

Anger doesn’t have to be a bad emotion. When kept in check, anger can inspire great writing, great athletic performance or great social progress. But restraint and good sense are the keys to having anger be constructive rather than destructive. It can be either.

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Controlling Your Anger

Very often, being angry is a natural reaction to a situation. However, handling that anger in a socially appropriate manner is something to be learned and practiced. If you grew up in a family that responds to anger by shouting and yelling, you will probably get angry easily and respond naturally in this way. If you grew up in a family that responds to anger by always talking things through, being polite, and never blowing up, you may still become angry at times, but will learn to handle it by hiding it. There are benefits and drawbacks to both styles. 

Expressing your anger can help you to feel relief and avoid further stress, but it may hurt others and put that stress onto them. Worse, it may not help to change the situation which made you angry in the first place. Holding your feelings in and not expressing anger can cause you to feel the effects of stress in other physical and emotional ways if you don't somehow get relief. When you feel yourself getting angry, a first step is to consider the source of the anger. Are your feelings justified, or are they selfish? Will expressing your anger help or hurt the situation? Can you solve the problem in a way that doesn't hurt others physically or emotionally? When you feel yourself getting angry take the following steps.

1. Take a deep breath, hold it a minute, then slowly let it out.
2. Take a moment where you don't say anything, but just think about the situation.
3. Ask yourself why you are upset: Are you not getting your way? Does someone not understand you? Has someone else done something to you?
4. Before you react, consider what you will gain by your reaction. Your number one goal should be to get the best results from the situation.
5. Now respond. This might mean walking away rather than making things worse. It might mean talking things over. It might mean expressing your anger in a firm but calm way. It might mean explaining to someone else how they upset you. It might mean letting your anger go because you realize it is unproductive.

If you follow these steps and practice them whenever you can, you will find that, while you might still get angry, you may also get better results and feel less stress.

D you have a question? Leave it as a comment